Gamzeli g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerinde bir b\u00fcy\u00fc var sanki adland\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, sar\u0131yor t\u00fcm ruhlar\u0131 ve y\u0131k\u0131yor t\u00fcm yok olu\u015flar\u0131. Ruhum senin bu ya\u015fam solu\u011funa kap\u0131l\u0131yor bir anda. Sen g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc de al\u0131p heybene hep ya\u015fam i\u00e7in y\u00fcr\u00fcyorsun, yokluk diye bir \u015fey yok diyorsun adeta. Asl\u0131nda ayr\u0131l\u0131k yok olmak de\u011fildir, var olmakt\u0131r diye t\u00fcm h\u0131nc\u0131nla ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor gibisin her dem. Ve her ne kadar ruhun kavu\u015fmu\u015f olsa dahi toprakla, sak\u0131n inanmay\u0131n diyorsun bu bir kavu\u015famaya kap\u0131 aralayacakt\u0131r mutlaka a\u015fka, inanca ya\u015fama kap\u0131 aralayacakt\u0131r diyorsun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131nla. Namludan \u00e7\u0131kan kur\u015funa inat diriliyorsun yeniden ve yeniden hayat i\u00e7in sava\u015f\u0131yorsun. D\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcyor kara betona asil ruhun, sen a\u015fkla sava\u015f\u0131yorsun yi\u011fit\u00e7e sava\u015f\u0131yorsun. Durmadan y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131yor namlulardan kur\u015funlar k\u0131z\u0131l kana bulamak i\u00e7in canlar\u0131 fakat her mermide bin sevda bin ya\u015fam filizleniyor t\u0131pk\u0131 sa\u011fanak bir ya\u011fmur gibi olan sava\u015f\u0131n i\u00e7indesin sen ve susuyor t\u00fcm sokaklar.<\/p>\n
Vurulmu\u015f bedeninden oluk oluk kan ak\u0131yor ve sen ruhunu ya\u015fam\u0131n solu\u011funa b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f durmadan sava\u015f\u0131n ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na kap\u0131l\u0131yorsun. Sokaklar\u0131 b\u0131rakm\u0131yorsun zalime ve inad\u0131na dimdik duruyorsun, mermilerin \u00fczerine \u00fczerine i\u00e7indeki a\u015fkla y\u00fcr\u00fcyorsun. Sen ya\u015famla y\u00fcr\u00fcyorsun namludan \u00e7\u0131kan kur\u015funa do\u011fru. Ey sevgili! Ey hakikat! Sen neye kapt\u0131rm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n ki g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc b\u00f6yle o kadar i\u00e7ten o kadar inan\u00e7la ve o kadar ya\u015fam sevinci ile nas\u0131l oluyor da savura savura g\u00fcl\u00fcyorsun. Nas\u0131l ba\u015far\u0131yorsun \u00f6l\u00fcm ile sava\u015fmay\u0131? Iss\u0131z bir sokakta vuruluyorsun ve yine ruhun yeniden ya\u015fama do\u011fru ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa do\u011fru da\u011flara do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Ya\u015fam nas\u0131l oluyor da cans\u0131z bedeninde tekrardan ruh buluyor, nas\u0131l hakikat ile yol al\u0131yor. Yan\u0131l\u0131yor olamam de\u011fil mi? Sen asl\u0131nda t\u00fcm zamanlarda sakl\u0131s\u0131n, zira bu kadar canl\u0131 olabilir mi g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerin bu kadar yak\u0131n olabilir mi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bana. Sen ruhunun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ile t\u00fcm ayr\u0131l\u0131k s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerini bir, bir y\u0131k\u0131yorsun solu\u011funun ritmi \u00e7\u0131nl\u0131yor kulaklar\u0131mda ve sen tam yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131mdas\u0131n.<\/p>\n
T\u0131pk\u0131 hayat gibi duruyorsun sen dipdiri ve y\u00fcre\u011fin a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f kap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fama, ya\u015fatmak i\u00e7in sava\u015fmaya. Durmadan b\u00fcy\u00fcyor sendeki ya\u015fam a\u015fk\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcyor ve b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fcyor adeta t\u00fcm hi\u00e7likleri tutu\u015fturarak ge\u00e7iyor t\u00fcm gri kentlerin sokaklar\u0131ndan gamzeli g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerin. \u2018Hadi yolda\u015f\u2019 dedi\u011finde sen t\u00fcm sessizlikler y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131r ve umut her \u015feye ra\u011fmen bir daha \u00fcst\u00fcn gelir bu yaman sava\u015fta. Neredeyse veda edilecekti gri kentin harabeye d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f sokaklar\u0131yla soluksuzca sessizce ve bir g\u00f6\u00e7ebe gibi. Fakat \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011fe uzanan gen\u00e7 bir eldi seninkisi ve \u00f6yle bir inan\u00e7la bu yola koyulmu\u015ftun ki, go\u0308g\u0306su\u0308nu\u0308 gererek buyursun gelsin \u00f6l\u00fcm der gibiydin adeta. Az \u00f6nce sen ge\u00e7tin yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131mdan, g\u00f6zlerinin i\u00e7i halen \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131ld\u0131. Capcanl\u0131 t\u00fcm heybetin ile \u00f6ylece birden ge\u00e7ip gittin ben hep buraday\u0131m der gibiydi bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n. Asl\u0131nda hi\u00e7bir zaman inanmak istemedim ben gidi\u015flere, \u00f6l\u00fcmlere \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben hep onlarla senle, sizlerle ya\u015fad\u0131m nas\u0131l inanabilirdim ki \u00f6l\u00fcme. Ben hep sevdim asl\u0131nda bizdeki ayr\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc her \u015feye ra\u011fmen yine de bulu\u015fma umudunu ta\u015f\u0131yor y\u00fcre\u011finde. Umut demi\u015fken, g\u00f6zlerin \u00f6yle bir umut ve inan\u00e7la parl\u0131yor ki, ad\u0131na ya\u015fam dememek a\u015fk dememek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil sanki. Bir \u015feyler s\u00f6ylemek istiyor asl\u0131nda y\u00fcre\u011fim ad\u0131na, anlam diyelim biz anlama dair t\u00fcm hislerimiz. Bir hoyrat r\u00fczgar gibi \u015fimdi y\u00fcre\u011fim ey yolda\u015f hangi \u00f6l\u00fcm korkar ki \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k atmaktan ya\u015fama dair at\u0131lan bir \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131kt\u0131r bizimkisi \u00f6l\u00fcm korkusu de\u011fil, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc alt etme \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Avu\u00e7lar\u0131mda bir ku\u015f var adeta durmadan \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131p duran. T\u0131pk\u0131 durmadan \u00e7arpan asil y\u00fcre\u011fin gibi. Yani anlayaca\u011f\u0131n yolda\u015f\u0131m, unutmuyor y\u00fcreklerimiz kavgan\u0131z\u0131, a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131z\u0131. Ki unutsak y\u00fcreklerimiz yang\u0131n olacakt\u0131r. A\u015fk\u0131n\u0131z\u0131, kavgan\u0131z\u0131 unuturmuyuz ki? Yine ya\u015fam do\u011fdu, yine inan\u00e7 yine a\u015fk dedim ya yolda\u015f\u0131m \u00f6lu\u0308m o\u0308lmedi diye bizde. Bizim bir silah\u0131m\u0131z bir de y\u00fcre\u011fimiz var. Silahlar\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcm kusarak de\u011fil y\u00fcre\u011fimizdeki ya\u015fam a\u015fk\u0131 ile kullan\u0131yoruz. Yazarken yine sen ve senin g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn tak\u0131l\u0131yor, sanki sohbet eder gibiyim seninle. Yazarken \u015fu anda bak\u0131\u015fl\u0131 sohbetimiz devam ediyor seninle. Hi\u00e7 elveda demedim ben kimseye, biliyorsun bizim yollar\u0131m\u0131z, patikalar\u0131m\u0131z hep merhabalara gebe. Merhaba sana yolda\u015f\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n
(\u015eehit Canfeda Sason arkada\u015f\u0131n an\u0131s\u0131na…)<\/p>\n
ZEYNEP ASYA<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Gamzeli g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerinde bir b\u00fcy\u00fc var sanki adland\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, sar\u0131yor t\u00fcm ruhlar\u0131 ve y\u0131k\u0131yor t\u00fcm yok olu\u015flar\u0131. Ruhum senin bu ya\u015fam solu\u011funa kap\u0131l\u0131yor bir anda. Sen g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc de al\u0131p heybene hep ya\u015fam i\u00e7in y\u00fcr\u00fcyorsun, yokluk diye bir \u015fey yok diyorsun adeta. Asl\u0131nda ayr\u0131l\u0131k yok olmak de\u011fildir, var olmakt\u0131r diye t\u00fcm h\u0131nc\u0131nla ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor gibisin her dem. Ve her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":22082,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sehitlere-iliskin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/34"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22080"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22083,"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22080\/revisions\/22083"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yps-online.org\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}